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Movie Review: Zathura

WARNING!! CONTAINS SPOILERS! STROLL DOWN TO BOTTOM TO READ MY REVIEW.

Two boys, Walter and Danny, discover a space themed board game from the basement, where everything inside it becomes real. The boys are eventually drawn into an adventure when their house is magically hurtled through space. The story is similar to Jumanji, another illustrated book by Van Allsburg (in the book, the Zathura game is contained inside the Jumanji one, although paradoxically the astronaut is revealed to be the creator of Jumanji. Likewise in the movie versions Zathura takes place in the 2000's and Jumanji takes place in the 1960's).

During the course of the story, the boys must overcome their personal ill-feeling held toward one another in order to survive. They are aided in this by an astronaut who appears as a result of the game. This astronaut is eventually revealed to be an older version of Walter, who had been trapped as a character in the game's world as a result of causing the disappearance of Danny, without whom he was no longer a player. Thus, the game could not advance without Danny taking his turn. This backstory becomes the basis, although the viewer only sees its role as such in retrospect, of parallels drawn between the two versions of Walter, including a revelation of the backstory without mention of his name or that of his brother. He is finally released when Walter summons his brother back to him. Both he and his brother seem to merge with Danny and Walter (after the astronaut turns back into another version of Walter) now that the future caused by Walter wishing Danny away has been erased.

Accompanying Danny, Walter, and the astronaut is their cantankerous elder sister, Lisa, who while not a player is as vulnerable to the dangers present in the game. She is placed in cryogenic freeze for five turns. She develops a crush on the astronaut, and is thus horrified when she finds out that she fell for an older version of her brother Walter.

The main villains in the movie are the Zorgons;reptilian, biped tool-users who are fond of heat and are attracted to a heat source much like bees are attracted to nectar, because they are cold-blooded. The Zorgons, having burned their own planet to obtain more heat, are nomads who travel through space seeking more to burn and who keep a flock of four-eyed goats on their ship.

Another character, a robot, first appears as a wind-up tin toy that quickly becomes life-size. It is supposed to defend the players, but as it is malfunctioning it mis-identifies Walter as an alien life form and begins rampaging through the house. Walter uses a "Reprogram" card on the robot, and it instead sets its sights on the Zorgons. A single Zorgon survives the robot's kamikaze attack and sneaks up behind Walter and Danny as they are wondering where Lisa is. Just as it's about to kill them, it is crushed and killed by Lisa with Danny's piano. Unfortunately, a massive Zorgon fleet arrives and attacks after Walter frees the astronaut and his brother.

Danny eventually completes the object of the game, whereupon the house is drawn into a roaring black hole, which Danny realizes is Zathura. The Zorgon fleet is pulled into the black hole, as are Lisa and Walter. Moments later, they have returned to Earth. All the "pieces" of the game (the house, its furnishing, and the players) have been replaced as they were before the game began. The brothers are thereafter much more cooperative with one another. The boys, and Lisa, retain their memories of the game's events in which they all agree never to speak of Zathura again.

As the kids get in the car with their mother and drive away, one of their bicycles which drifted off into space falls back to the lawn.

MY REVIEW:


I loved this movie. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time while watching it. This may have been what I was like when I watched Jumanji the first time. It has a great morale to the movie as well. I highly recommend this movie for others. The only problem I really had with the movie was that the younger brother was really whiny and it got on my nerves.

4 1/2 out of 5 stars.

If My Life Were a Role-Playing Game...

If my life were an RPG, this is how my typical day would go.

I would wake up in the morning exactly eight hours after going to sleep while standing next to my bed fully dressed. If I’d had any injuries, such as a cut on my thumb or a sore calf, they would be fully healed. I would have a lot of energy.

I would leave my house at a full run, neglecting to eat or brush my teeth or change my clothes. I’d head roughly in a straight line toward work, running through traffic, leaping over hedges, trash cans, or other obstructions. If I came to a river, and there was not a bridge in the immediate vicinity, I’d just swim across it fully clothed.

The door to the office, although locked, would open for me because I have the key in my pocket.

My boss would not ask me to do any work, even if he was right next to me, looking at me, until I chose to speak with him. He would also have no reaction to me jumping on his desk and kicking his stuff all over the place.

Though chairs are everywhere, I would not sit the entire day, even while working at my desk.

I would wear my coat and sweatshirt the entire day, regardless of the fact that it is much warmer in the office than it is outdoors. If I did decide to take off my coat, it would fall, neatly folded, next to me. Coworkers walking by would think nothing of walking over it or kicking it aside.

The visitor in the lobby looking for one of my coworkers would not just let me point the way down the hall to my coworker’s cubicle. He would insist I deliver a message to my coworker personally. He would wait in the lobby, perhaps for months, until I had delivered the message and returned to tell him I had done so.

After completing this task, and others, I would then be able to choose if I’d like to become slightly stronger, smarter, more durable, or more charismatic. (Sadly, I would not be able to choose to be a few inches taller.)

I would keep track of all my current, and completed tasks, no matter how trivial, in a journal I carried with me. When someone asked me to do something, I would write their instructions down, word for word, or perhaps make a recording of them speaking the instructions for future reference. Even incredibly important tasks would be unlikely to have a deadline.

If I decided to kill a coworker, it wouldn’t be a problem unless another coworker saw or heard me doing it. If they didn’t, I could then drag the corpse of my coworker around, or leave it in plain sight, and no one would say a thing about it.

I’d probably skip lunch, but if I decided to eat, I could choose from a large selection of food, like potato chips, fruit and vegetables, an entire ham, bagels, sandwiches, oatmeal, etc, all of which I am carrying in my pockets. I’d have no compunctions about eating something I’d found on the ground, or meat I’d been carrying with me for weeks. If I decided to have some wine with lunch, I couldn’t just have a glass: I’d drain the entire bottle in one gulp.

I’d talk to a few people at the office, though some, the ones I don’t know well and don’t really work with, wouldn’t have much to say besides a single sentence, like “I hear the supply cabinet on the second floor is a great place to find office supplies” or “Anytime I want to make a change to my health benefits, I visit Mary Tompkins in Human Resources.” Or, “Hello there!”

On the way home (running again), I might stop at the store for cigarettes. If I didn’t have enough cash on me, I’d simply sell some of my belongings to the guy behind the counter, such as spare ammunition, clothing, food, or a spare wristwatch, until I had enough money to cover the balance.

If I’d dropped something on the way to work, even if it was very expensive and left right out in the open, it would still be lying right where I’d dropped it.

I might talk to a few people on the way home. They might ask for my help with a sensitive matter, such as escorting their child somewhere, or delivering a message or item to a family member in another city. They’d absolutely trust me with this task, despite me being a complete stranger.

At home again, I’d run in the door, dump the items I didn’t want to carry on the floor, and head right for bed. (Actually, this isn’t that far from the truth sometimes.)