I don't normally do things like this, but Knikki tagged me.
Here are the rules:
1.) Link the person who tagged you
2.) Tell 7 facts about yourself
3.) Tag 7 people at the end of your blog
Here we go.
Fact #7 - I am in love with The Little Mermaid. Being obsessed is an ok thing right?
Fact #6 - I love the show Degrassi and is really sad I can't watch it while at Longwood
Fact #5 - I also love the show LOST but I just got into it in Sept.
Fact #4 - People have told me they come to parties just because I am there.
Fact #3 - I love to knit. I can knit dinosaurs, scarfs, hats, socks, baby booties, etc.
Fact #2 - I am really scared of needles. They make me pass out
Fact #1 - When I leave home, and hug my teddy bear Poobie goodbye. I cry. I miss him so much while at school
7 people to tag: Ann, Whitney, Jenn, Chris (thats all I have that have blogs....)
ENJOY!
Saturday, January 12, 2008
go ahead....get drunk off me
| The Recipe For Ellen |
 3 parts Flair 2 parts Aspiration 1 part Craftiness Splash of Bravery Finish off with a little umbrella and straw |
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Untitiled
Kittens play with yarn, they bat it around. What they're really doing is saying, "I can't knit, get this away from me!"
8 Kids Movies That Lied to Us
Production companies have made millions giving children exactly what they want: whether it's to be an adult, get rich, or meet David Bowie, indulging childhood fantasies is a hallmark of family films.
Imagine the trauma those same children undergo when they're forced to realize that being an adult sucks, getting rich entails smuggling drugs in your ass, and meeting David Bowie entails smuggling drugs in your ass. Well, as children scarred by the false expectations set up in films, we say no more! Below, eight movies that are begging to be unmasked for the dangerously optimistic propaganda they really are.
8. The Parent Trap
What it Led Us to Believe:
1) Our parents divorce was all the result of a silly quibble that they've long since forgotten about, and all it'll take to get them back together are a few songs, a camping trip, and some shoddy split-screen effects.
2) If your parents have split up, don't bother learning to cope with it in any healthy or meaningful way. Instead, just desperately cling to the dream of a reunited family and use any form of deceit necessary to manipulate them back into a (presumably) loveless hell of a marriage.
The Cold, Hard Truth:
In the original version of the film, Hayley Mills plays a set of reunited twins who get their parents back together by switching places and forcing them into a meeting, simultaneously foiling the designs of the father's current girlfriend (who, it conveniently turns out, is a straight-up gold digger). Not only is this plan of Rube Goldberg-caliber complexity, it also assumes that your parents are still in love and that dad's girlfriend is a bitch he's just dying to unload. In reality, if your rich dad left his wife for a younger girlfriend, odds are she's got particular ASSets that he's not going to want to just leave BEHIND. Okay, puns over.
In the remake of the film, the story remains basically the same, but Hayley Mills is Lindsay Lohan, the dad is Dennis Quaid, 
and the parents literally state that they don't remember why they ever got divorced. That's all well and good for Dennis Quaid, but our parents sure as hell remember why they got divorced, and in most cases it involved restraining orders, late nights at the office and four-hour shouting matches about undersalted meat loaf.
Damaging False Beliefs Traceable to Film:
Bursting into song is an acceptable way to express deep emotional wounds.
Our estranged Dad is in all likelihood a rugged, handsome vintner.
Somewhere out there is our long-lost identical twin, and she's an attractive preteen girl.
7. Big
What it Led Us to Believe:
1) Adults spend most of their time dancing on giant pianos, getting paid to test toys, and winning beautiful women away from their boyfriends, and all we have to do to become one is locate a magic robot gypsy.
2) A good place to start? Our local carnival. Because there's nothing that will end your childhood faster than sneaking around the darkened tents of a carnival backlot and asking whoever you run into if there's anything they'd care to show a little boy. (Actually, this turned out to be a pretty effective way of ending our childhood, though no magic robot gypsy was involved.)
The Cold, Hard Truth:
In the movie Big, Tom Hanks gets paid to tell a toy manufacturer which toys kids will like. You know what that's called? Market research. You know how much you get paid to do that in real life? A handful of Cheetohs and a Styrofoam cup of Sierra Mist.
In reality, most adults make a living by selling off little pieces of their dignity to an asshole in a tie until they finally go home one night and "forget" to turn the car exhaust off in the garage. Also, gypsies aren't magic (unless looking crippled when you're not is magic) and playing the piano with your feet is a good way to get kicked out of most establishments. You really want to give up the next twelve years of your life in exchange for turning into Tom Hanks? Sure, it sounds okay, until you stop to consider that it means in a little under twenty years you'll look like this:
Damaging False Beliefs Traceable to Film:
Trampolines make good floors.
Our nagging suspicion that all the pricks we meet are just kids trapped in adult bodies, and while we slowly suffocate in our own awkward neuroses, they are marveling at the wonder of the adult world.
Elizabeth Perkins is a pedophile.
6. Blank Check
What it Led Us to Believe:
1) If we ever get our hands on a signed blank check, we can proceed to the nearest bank and withdraw as much money as we want, then stuff it into every pocket of our Jansport backpack and walk out with no questions asked.
2) Money really will bring you total happiness, and if you happen to steal that money from a dangerous criminal, no sweat! He'll just be captured through a series of highly unlikely events, because there's no way God would let him come to your castle and murder you with a claw hammer for daring to cross him.
The Cold, Hard Truth:
The archetypal 90's scamp in this movie has got such a huge set of balls it's a wonder he's able to move, let alone defraud a bank. First 
he steals a million dollars, then he uses a "hacked" Macintosh Performa 600 to perfectly mimic a human voice and buy a castle complete with go-kart track and water slide, making him the single greatest computer engineer of his era. In real life, he would have been promptly pulled aside while waiting in line at the bank and stood whimpering while his (probably drunk) father was called to come pick him up/beat him for wasting the nice peoples' time.
Damaging False Beliefs Traceable to Film:
Money is the only relevant index of human success.
All dangerous criminals are really just incompetent Home Alone-style comic relief.
Somehow, somewhere, there is a luxurious, well-maintained castle that can be purchased for under a million dollars.
5. Labryinth
What it Led Us to Believe:
1) That if we ever get stuck babysitting our bratty younger sibling, a simple evocation of the goblin horde will not only rid us of her, but introduce us to a number of amusing muppet friends.
2) The kidnappers we've been constantly warned about by our parents aren't really a threat, as they are easily identified by their sequin-covered cravats and habit of singing about Dance Magic.
3) Babies are an easily-avoided burden.
4) Life's challenges are rarely more frightening than a maze filled with felt, and when you get to the end you get the chance to bone the guy that wrote "Major Tom."
The Cold, Hard Truth:
Kids that try and evoke the Goblin Horde don't get valuable lessons in responsibility; they get put under professional supervision by child psychologists. Labyrinth's female protagonist would have been charged with child endangerment, criminal negligence, and putting a rift in the fabric of reality. Worse, all the muppet friends she (and by proxy, we) fell in love with are nothing more than inanimate heaps of laundry being wiggled around by a middle-aged guy who makes a living putting his hands up fake asses.
Damaging False Beliefs Traceable to Film:
Learning to contact juggle crystal spheres will make your the coolest kid in school.
There is a secret world of magic and wonder, and if we're good enough, we'll get to see it.
The Dark Crystal was awesome.
4. Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead
What it Led Us to Believe:
1) If the babysitter died while watching us, it meant a summer full of fun, cash, important lessons in maturity, and budding teen romance with the cute guy who works at the corndog place.
2) There's no better way to introduce your younger siblings to the subject of their own mortality than by having them stuff the corpse of an elderly woman into a box and ditch it outside a mortuary. With no mother there to answer all the pounding questions they'll have about their own inevitable deaths, you're free to tell them whatever you want!
3) Having your parents out of town and old people dead and out of the way presents the perfect opportunity to bond the family and land a high-paying job at a fashion design firm, pioneering your own line of 80's clothing and embezzling funds all without any lasting consequences.
(Yes, that all happens in the movie.)
The Cold, Hard Truth:
The kids in this movie are legitimately pleased that their babysitter keels over while their negligent mother is away on an extended vacation. They do everything short of popping champagne and pissing on the body, all because the woman happened to be a little strict.
In reality, there are only two ways your babysitter can die while watching you. One involves listening to her garbled screams as a masked intruder drowned her in the bath she was drawing for you and your siblings. The other involves a stench like someone lit a thousand farts. Either way, the only important lesson in maturity you're likely to get is when you have to tell your younger sister that Mrs. Calloway is "just sleeping" and drag her body to the garage to wait for your Mom to come home.
Damaging False Beliefs Traceable to Film:
One day, we too could look as cool as David Duchovny looks in this movie:
Mom will always forgive us, as long as no one was hurt. After all, what's the important thing: Embezzlement and massive fraud, or that we all had good intentions?
Christina Applegate would make a good mother.
3. The Neverending Story
What it Led Us to Believe:
1) Reading books is your ticket to a magical world of adventure, heroism, and condoned truancy. So what if kids beat you up every day before school? You get to skip class to read in an attic and mutter to yourself!
2) Go ahead and tell your teacher all about your adventures in Fantasia when she catches you ducking out the fire escape; at least you'll get to go to a Counselor that way instead of detention.
The Cold, Hard Truth:
News Flash: The only version of The Neverending Story you know anything about is the movie. Why? Because most books are not only terrible, but can take several days to finish. The kid you identified with in The Neverending Story is the same kid who will go on to become founder and only member of your High School's Juggling Club. And if you think just because you read a book a Luck Dragon is going to appear and help you scare away bullies, you're about to get the shit beaten out of you.
But perhaps the worst expectation this movie sets up in kids is the idea that if you believe in something with enough fervor, fantasy can become reality. If only you dream hard enough, magic can happen, stories can come alive, and you too can be a hero. Not hearing any voices from beyond? Still stuck working at Taco Bell to pay off credit card debt? Books continuing to spiral into disuse? Well, that's on you, you unimaginative little shits. Guess you just didn't want it bad enough, did you? We'll be sure to tell the Childlike Empress that as she slowly and painfully dies from your lack of imagination.
Damaging False Beliefs Traceable to Film:
Atreyu is an excellent band.
A recurring nightmare about our horses drowning in a bog.
A deep-seated fear that once begun, all stories will continue indefinitely until our deaths.
2. Jack
What it Led Us to Believe:
1) Being afflicted with a degenerative aging disease from birth entails buying pornography and booze at age ten, becoming the universally beloved Valedictorian of your High School, and then leaping into a car and driving off to a graduation party at which your eighty-year-old penis will presumably be repeatedly sucked.
2) The Valedictorian of your High School will get invited to graduation parties.
The Cold, Hard Truth:
Jack features Robin Williams as a kid suffering from Werner's syndrome, with some Progeria mixed in for good measure. One big problem there: Werner's disease and Progeria don't make you steadily age at an accelerated rate as shown in the film. Rather, they make you age rapidly at the onset of puberty, develop spindly arms and legs, a "bird-like" face, and any of a wide range of age-related diseases including (but not limited to) cancer, heart disease, diabetes, and cataracts.
Pretty much the only age-related thing you don't get from it is senility, leaving your unequipped teenage mind to grapple with the moral quandary of why God would punch you in the soul so very hard for no apparent reason. Our guess? In your past life, you greenlit the movie Jack.
Damaging False Beliefs Traceable to Film:
Our son's lazy eye isn't a birth defect, but a boon that will win him the admiration of his peers in school.
Young kids are completely open to people with special needs, and treat them with dignity and tolerance.
Robin Williams has the mental capacity of a ten-year-old child.
1. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
What it Led Us to Believe:
1) That if we ate enough chocolate, we'd not only get to see how chocolate is made (by happy singing slaves in a wonderland of make-believe), but we'd become KING OF CHOCOLATE.
2) Only dumb slobs and spoiled brats have to work regular jobs; if you're really a good kid, you'll end up with the job of your dreams. If you don't...well, apparently you're just not a very good kid.
3) But the most important message? Take candy from strange men.
The Cold, Hard Truth:
Willy Wonka would have long ago been run out of business and imprisoned, if not for sweat shop practices or scaring the shit out of a boat full of kids with footage of a dead chicken, then at the very least for the hygienic complications of letting a fat kid wallow around in the chocolate reservoir.
Another Cold, Hard Truth? There is no such thing as a chocolate reservoir. The candy you eat is made of chemicals with names like Maltodextrin and Calcium Stearate that ooze out of gray plastic tubes and get handled by listless workers who despise you for being middle class. Eat enough of it and all you get is fat. "Fun Size" indeed. Even the real-world attempt at producing Willy Wonka-brand candy has resulted in nothing more promising than Nerds, Spree, and an "Everlasting Gobstopper" that lasts about eight minutes.
Damaging False Beliefs Traceable to Film:
Little people enjoy working long hours for no pay, and most of them have candy on their person.
An unnatural aversion to film of chickens being decapitated.
Lick enough wallpaper and you'll eventually find the Snozzberry.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
50 Best Movies of 2007 (and 10 Worst One
50. Transformers
Director Michael Bay took an washed-up, aging toy line and transformed it into one of the biggest, baddest action flicks we've seen in a long time. Throw in a charming performance from Shia LaBeouf, and 'Transformers' hit harder then Optimus Prime on steroids.--Erik Davis
49. I Am Legend
It's not the mind-blowing epic many hoped it to be, but there's a lot to be admired in this post-apocalyptic actioner. Will Smith puts on a heck of a one-man show as the lone mutant-bashing human in a virus-ravaged New York. And the views of a decimated NYC are absolutely haunting.--Tom DiChiara
48. Lars and the Real Girl
Only Ryan Gosling could take an eww-inducing role (strange loner buys inflatable sex doll and falls in love with "her") and turns the creep factor off, the charm factor way up. A strong supporting cast (Patricia Clarkson, Emily Mortimer, Paul Schneider) helps to warm up the Minnesota winter .--Angie Argabrite
47. I'm Not There
Todd Hayes deconstructs the biopic with a film in which six actors--led by the Cate Blanchett amazing --represent Bob Dylan at various phase of is life. Equal parts challenging and audaciously inventive, it's a portrait of the artist as complex and fascinating as Dylan himself.--Patricia Chui
46. Before the Devil Knows You're Dead
Welcome back, Sidney Lumet! After decades without a hit, the 83-year-old director was the Comeback Kid of 2007 with this tense, tightly woven thriller about brothers (Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Ethan Hawke, both first-rate) whose lives come completely undone after a botched robbery. --PC
45. Bridge to Terabithia
What it's not: 'Narina' lite, as you may have be led to believe by some misleading marketing. What it is: a moving tear-jerker that sensitively and delicately deals with the joys and pains of adolescence. Boys may be lured in by the creatures, but they'll stay for the depth of emotion. Really --AA
44. Waitress
This isn't just another tender, quirky, heartwarming comedy. After all, how many of THOSE did you see this year? Sweet but never mawkish, "Waitress' features a knockout cast , with a radiant Keri Russell as the sad, hopeful waitress of the title. Come for the pie ... stay for the movie. --PC
43. A Mighty Heart
Like 'United 93', this drama can be painful to watch, but its profoundly rewarding in the end. In one of the best performances in '07, Angelina Jolie disappears under the darker hues and curlier hair of Marianne Pearl, all the more impression given the star's rampant overexposure. --Kevin Polowy
42. The Simpson's Movie
Two words: Spider Pig. It was worth the wait for our favorite animated TV family to finally hit the big screen, and while Springfield was polluted in chaos, Homer and clan were there to freshen up our summer with some of the funniest gags they've ever produced. --ED
41. Breach
This suspense-filled flick chronicles the biggest security breach in U.S. History, but at it's core is a gripping buddy story between the FBI veteran (Chris Cooper) betraying this country and the ambitious neophyte (Ryan Phillipe) charged with outing him . Bros before ho-meland? Not so much. --TD
40. 300
We! Are! Sparta! Ok, so we are actually not, just huge fans of Zach Snyder graphic-novel-goes-to-big-screen hit. And now we finally understand why Gerard Butler -ites are so slavishly devoted. We take orders from the Scottish he-man anyday. --AA
39. Dan in Real Life
Some critics found the loving family in Steve Carell's poignant dramedy unrealistic. We feel sorry for some critics. Plot contrives aside, 'Dan' succeeds both in capturing the dynamics of a large clan and telling helluva a love story. Carell almost made us forget about 'Evan Almighty'. Almost. --KP
38. Enchanted
Patrick Dempsey really is McDreamy, even as a uptight lawyer; Amy Adams is far more appealing then Meredith Gray as Giselle, a fairy-tale princess come to life; and just to call James Marsden Prince Charming, since he oh-so-adorable as guy candy. The Disney magic has turned on its ear, and we like it. --AA
37. Grace is Gone
n a career-best performance (he should get an Oscar nod for his bull-legged walk alone), John Cusack is a flag-waving father of two whose wife is killed in Iraq. This tear-jerking drama might be misconstrued as a political statement, but finally it's a heartrending tale of human loss. --KP
36. Persepolis
Carefully constructed to mirror the bestselling graphic novel it's based on (it follows a teen girl's coming-of-age story during the Islamic Revolution), this animated film is funny, engaging and brutally honest in its portrayal of Iranian people and their quest for freedom.--ED
35. The Lookout
In accident victim with lingering memory problems (Joseph Gordon-Levitt, in a gut-wrenching performance) gets wrapped up in a bank heist gone awry in this criminally underseen film. Still wearing his beard from 'Squid and the Whale,' Jeff Daniels steals scenes as his blind roomie.--ED
34. Sicko
Michael Moore's doc about the failings of the U.S. healthcare system might be his least controversial film to date, but that doesn't make it any less incendiary. It's informative AND entertaining, and does what all great art should: It ignites discussion and leaves you wanting, um, Moore. --TD
33. Talk to Me
In a Best Actor race more crowded than a 1968 James Brown concert, Don Cheadle will almost certainly be overlooked for his gaudy portrayal of radio revolutionary Petey Greene. But it's the type of performance that turns what could've been a cookie-cutter biopic into a sure-fire crowd-pleaser. --KP
32. Lust, Caution
Set in WWII-era Shanghai, Ang Lee's 'Brokeback Mountain' follow-up is courting as much controversy as his cowboy love story did. Though it's China's submission for an Oscar, the MPAA limited its audience with an NC-17 rating. Which is a shame -- Lee's erotic thriller is a sumptuous treat. --AA
31. Hairspray
It's the perfect storm of filmmaking: a movie musical based on a Broadway musical based on a movie (John Waters' camp classic), and all three of them are terrific. Giddily exuberant and bubbling with good cheer, it's an homage to fun that even musical-haters would be hard-pressed to resist. --PC
30. The Great Debaters
It's easy to dismiss this drama as 'Remember the Titans' gone academic, as the film undisputedly follows sports-movie conventions (there's even a training montage!). But tell us what's so wrong with finding inspiration, especially within the context of a truly astonishing American triumph. --KP
29. Zodiac
'Fight Club' director David Fincher helmed this moody flick about the real-life search for the infamous Zodiac killer. Not even Jake Gyllenhaal could solve the puzzle, but strong performances and stark, dark direction make this thriller resonate long after we've left the crime scenes.--ED
28. The Orphanage
Not quite a horror film but a superbly chilling ghost story, the Guillermo del Toro-produced 'Orphanage' is that rare movie that will make you leap out of your seat in fear one moment, then weep with sorrow the next. (But hang onto your handrest -- you'll be leaping again soon enough.)--PC
27. Superbad
It doesn't take a superfan to know that Judd Apatow was superhot in 2007. Of his films, this foul-mouthed, supremely hilarious comedy about three teens on a quest for the high school holy grail (beer, boobs and bigger ... brains) ranks lowest on our list, but really, it's like picking a favorite child.--ED
26. Rescue Dawn
Werner Herzog's sorely overlooked true-life tale about the only successful escape from a Vietnam P.O.W. camp features a bravura turn by Christian Bale, emaciating himself for his art once again. But the film's real revelation is the gutsy performance of Steve Zahn -- yep, the dude from 'Saving Silverman.' --TD
25. Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix
One of the best films in the series may have given us a "Sirius" death, but not even Voldemort can stop Harry from ruling the world. With only two films left, will Dumbledore's Army lead us out of the closet and into box office record books? We think maybe. --ED
24. American Gangster
Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe lock horns for the first time since 'Virtuosity' -- and the results are a tad more satisfying (wink). As a vitriolic '70s drug kingpin and the flawed cop on his tail, Washington and Crowe engage in a cinematic tango that's jarring, visceral and not-so-quietly explosive. --TD
23. No End in Sight
As you can surmise from the title, this ain't exactly a sunshiney look at the Iraq War. But it's the most thorough, enlightening detailing of the mega-blunders made by the Bush Administration in planning and executing the war to date, with nary a Michael Moore stunt in sight. --KP
22. Into the Wild
Sean Penn's adaptation of Jon Krakauer's nonfiction book -- about a rich young man who abandoned all his earthly possessions to live in the Alaskan wilderness -- is laden with breathtaking vistas, themes of freedom and loneliness, and a performance by Emile Hirsch that'll break your heart. --TD
21. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Paralyzed by a stroke, editor J.D. Bauby was able to move only one eyelid. Yet Julian Schnabel's stunningly beautiful take on Bauby's memoir soars, rich with imagination and passion. It's a tour de force -- and it'll make you feel like a slob for sitting on your couch. --PC
20. Charlie Wilson's War
Audiences may have stayed away from the bulk of 2007's political-minded movies, but this remarkable, irreverent comedy will prove irresistible, given Tom Hanks' bold portrayal (he's like the LiLo of congressmen), Julia Roberts' return and Philip Seymour Hoffman's sheer brilliance in it. --KP
19. Gone Baby Gone
Elder Affleck Ben proves that it can be a very good thing when an actor wants to direct, while baby bro Casey shows that there's more than one leading man in the family. We can't understand why this mean streets of Boston-set thriller wasn't embraced by audiences, but it's a crime.--AA
18. Sweeney Todd
This is the musical Tim Burton was born to direct, and he flat-out goes for it, with a dark, twisted, gloriously gory film that'll leave you exhilarated and spent. Johnny Depp is sensational as the barber driven mad by his wife's death -- eyes ablaze and razor held high, he's never been more riveting. --PC
17. The Savages
Philip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney turn is some of the year's finest acting as quarreling siblings forced to care for their estranged, ailing father. Though they're hilariously -- and often brutally -- acerbic, these 'Savages' have one redeeming secret: Deep down, they're actually sweet.--TD
16. The King of Kong
The most fascinating, entertaining documentary of the year centers around ... videogame geeks? We dare you not to become enthralled by (and at times, enraged with) the men vying for Donkey Kong's world record in a story inhabited by characters so absurd you'll swear it's a MOCKumentary. --KP
15. Knocked Up
Writer-director Judd Apatow's '40 Year-Old Virgin' follow-up solidified his spot as the reigning king of comedy and vaulted schlubby star Seth Rogen to unlikely leading-man status. Like 'Virgin,' it's a delicious tossed salad of vulgar sex jokes and genuine heart. And yes, we said "tossed salad." --TD
14. The Lives of Others
This German gem about a Stasi agent who obsesses over a couple he's tasked to spy on recalls how difficult it was to live an ordinary life on the wrong side of the Berlin Wall. Expect boundaries to drop, along with plenty of tears, by the time the credits roll. --ED
13. Hot Fuzz
Simon Pegg and Nick Frost ('Shaun of the Dead') score yet again with this brilliant spoof pittting small-town cops against a serial killer. Not only is it smart and wickedly funny, but it also stands up -- thrill for thrill -- against the action flicks it so lovingly mocks. Watch your back, Bruckheimer. --PC
12. There Will Be Blood
Daniel Day-Lewis gets our award for Most Intense Actor for his, uh, intense portrayal of an opportunistic oil man in Paul Thomas Anderson's beautifully shot epic. The powerful score -- composed by Radiohead's Jonny Greenwood -- ought to get a Best Supporting Actor nod all by itself. --AA
11. Away From Her
This heartbreaking movie about Alzheimer's owes its power to two women: the astonishing Julie Christie, who bravely gives the best female performance of the year, and Sarah Polley, who in her directorial debut displays more grace and subtlety than most filmmakers twice her age. --PC
10. Walk Hard
Ever since 'Talladega Nights,' John C. Reilly has let his freak flag fly, and in the hilarious Judd Apatow joint, it's swinging proudly in the wind ... oh, wait, that wasn't his. But with Reilly embodying country-rock legend Dewey Cox (yes, we said "Cox"), you're in good hands. Go, Dewey, go. --AA
9. Eastern Promises
David Cronenberg and Viggo Mortensen are on the fast track to becoming our favorite celebrity duo, with this re-teaming (after '05's 'History of Violence'). Viggo's Russian accent is flawless (as is his performance), and if you haven't heard about the nude scene by now, you need to get out more. --AA
8. Michael Clayton
This legal thriller doesn't exactly present a novel concept: big corporation tries to cover up wrongdoing; conflicted attorney tries to take them down. What is new is how freaking engrossing this one is, thanks to a solid script from 'Bourne' scribe Tony Gilroy and a subtly stunning turn from George Clooney. --TD
7. Ratatouille
What a gamble it was: Not only is it a family flick that's hard to pronounce, but it's about a rat preparing gourmet food in a French restaurant. Leave it to the brilliant minds at Pixar to cook up the delectable classic that is 'Ratatouille.' Just make sure you wash your hands first. --ED
6. Once
It's not only the greatest Irish musical we've seen since 'The Commitments' (fine, only Irish musical), this indie sleeper is the most romantic movie of the year, a certified cinematic aphrodisiac. Consider its insightful looks into the songwriting process as well, and this one spells "classic."--KP
5. The Bourne Ultimatum
Perhaps the best action movie since 'Die Hard,' its appeal can be summed up in two words: Matt Damon. Bourne seems like Superman -- he leaps off buildings and pulverizes foes using naught but a book -- but underneath all that, he's a flawed, vulnerable human being. And we dig that about him. --TD
4. 3:10 to Yuma
Christian Bale is fascinating to watch as a wounded Civil War vet, Russell Crowe brings a menacing sizzle to his role of career outlaw with a conscience, and Ben Foster stands out as a grimy villain in James Mangold's remake of a minor '50s classic Western. It's sharp-shooting from start to finish. --AA
3. Juno
In this quirky, angsty, beautifully written flick, Ellen Page proves it's possible for not one, not two, but three enjoyable pregnancy comedies in one year. Between Page's sarcastic musings and Michael Cera's tight gym shorts, 'Juno' provides enough sparks and shenanigans to last much longer than nine months. --ED
2. Atonement
It was a risky undertaking to tackle Ian McEwan's devastating novel, but Joe Wright rises to the challenge with this gorgeous, pitch-perfect film. Blessed with a stellar cast, swirling with desire and regret, the movie isn't just faithful to the book -- it achieves a luminous, aching power all its own. --PC
Finally......DRUM ROLE PLEASE FOR THE #1 MOVIE FOR 2007!
1. No Country for Old Men
The Coen brothers returned with a bang and a whole lotta blood, crafting this fiercely tense masterpiece that rivals 'Fargo' and 'Blood Simple' as their best work yet. The film's deeper meanings and enigmatic ending will have moviegoers talking for years to come, not unlike a certain HBO series. --KP
and now for the worse...
10. Rush Hour 3
Chris Tucker came out of retirement for this? He and partner in crime-solving Jackie Chan (who admits even he doesn't like the 'Rush Hour' movies) simply go through the motions in this featherweight action-comedy that feels like we've already seen it. Oh, that's right, we did. It was called 'Rush Hour 2.' --KP
9. Premonition
Is Sandra Bullock's hubby dead in a car accident, or downstairs getting their daughters ready for school? She can't tell -- and neither can we -- in this muddled thriller in which a scene with a priest explaining the nature of time is meant to explain it all. Sandy, America still loves you. Don't you like us too? --AA
8. Smokin' Aces
Here's a clever idea for a movie: Cast Jeremy Piven as a mob snitch, lock him away in a hotel suite, and invite an endless array of cartoonish killers to come after him, where they'll spend the next 90 minutes shooting at each other, dying, and coming back to life. Why not just make a videogame instead? --KP
7. Hannibal Rising
Meet the most hilarious prequel you'll ever seen (yep, it somehow tops 'Dumb and Dumberer'). Problem is, we're not supposed to be laughing at this look back at when Hannibal Lecter was a pretty boy, and how he first got a taste for human entrees. Say it ain't so, Sir Anthony. --KP
6. Because I Said So
Please, someone take control of Mandy Moore's career before we have to live through another year of not one, but two, unwatchable romantic comedies (and we use the term "comedy" lightly). We won't even mention Diane Keaton's part in this particular debacle, but she knows what she's done. --AA
5. Good Luck Chuck
Dane Cook and Jessica Alba go together like nails and ice cream, which is just one reason why 'Good Luck Chuck' failed to "score" with audiences. Besides, you know something is off when the wrong person shows up naked ... and he's hairy. Bad Chuck, bad. --ED
4. The Number 23
There are at least 23 reasons this movie failed, but here are three: the ludicrous plot (everything adds up to 23! and something about murder), the gaspingly awful "film noir within a film," and Jim Carrey, whose painful performance here makes his turn in 'Ace Ventura' seem like the stuff of Oscars.--PC
3. Daddy Day Camp
It's never a good sign when Eddie Murphy turns down a sequel to one of his own movies. Even the "dream team" of first-time director Fred Savage (yes, Kevin from 'The Wonder Years') and star Cuba Gooding, Jr. (yes, the man who thought 'Chill Factor' was a good idea) couldn't save this cinematic turd. --TD
2. Georgia Rule
It's the three-generations-of-strong-women family comedy about ... sexual abuse ... and alcoholism? OK, then. The performances are fine; it's Jane Fonda, Felicity Huffman and Lindsay Lohan, after all (regardless of her issues, the girl can act). But someone was on something when this script was approved. --AA
And the worst movie for 2007 is...
1. Norbit
Though moviegoers and critics were at odds over this raunchy comedy, there's just something about Eddie Murphy in a monstrous fatsuit AND a bikini that spells all sorts of wrong. 'Coming to America' and Murphy's other classics remain untainted, but we don't want 'Norbit' coming near our DVD library anytime soon. --ED
Director Michael Bay took an washed-up, aging toy line and transformed it into one of the biggest, baddest action flicks we've seen in a long time. Throw in a charming performance from Shia LaBeouf, and 'Transformers' hit harder then Optimus Prime on steroids.--Erik Davis
Personality, I looooooved this movie. It was great and Shia was hott in it. It was a great action movie.
49. I Am Legend
It's not the mind-blowing epic many hoped it to be, but there's a lot to be admired in this post-apocalyptic actioner. Will Smith puts on a heck of a one-man show as the lone mutant-bashing human in a virus-ravaged New York. And the views of a decimated NYC are absolutely haunting.--Tom DiChiara
48. Lars and the Real Girl
Only Ryan Gosling could take an eww-inducing role (strange loner buys inflatable sex doll and falls in love with "her") and turns the creep factor off, the charm factor way up. A strong supporting cast (Patricia Clarkson, Emily Mortimer, Paul Schneider) helps to warm up the Minnesota winter .--Angie Argabrite
47. I'm Not There
Todd Hayes deconstructs the biopic with a film in which six actors--led by the Cate Blanchett amazing --represent Bob Dylan at various phase of is life. Equal parts challenging and audaciously inventive, it's a portrait of the artist as complex and fascinating as Dylan himself.--Patricia Chui
46. Before the Devil Knows You're Dead
Welcome back, Sidney Lumet! After decades without a hit, the 83-year-old director was the Comeback Kid of 2007 with this tense, tightly woven thriller about brothers (Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Ethan Hawke, both first-rate) whose lives come completely undone after a botched robbery. --PC
45. Bridge to Terabithia
What it's not: 'Narina' lite, as you may have be led to believe by some misleading marketing. What it is: a moving tear-jerker that sensitively and delicately deals with the joys and pains of adolescence. Boys may be lured in by the creatures, but they'll stay for the depth of emotion. Really --AA
44. Waitress
This isn't just another tender, quirky, heartwarming comedy. After all, how many of THOSE did you see this year? Sweet but never mawkish, "Waitress' features a knockout cast , with a radiant Keri Russell as the sad, hopeful waitress of the title. Come for the pie ... stay for the movie. --PC
43. A Mighty Heart
Like 'United 93', this drama can be painful to watch, but its profoundly rewarding in the end. In one of the best performances in '07, Angelina Jolie disappears under the darker hues and curlier hair of Marianne Pearl, all the more impression given the star's rampant overexposure. --Kevin Polowy
42. The Simpson's Movie
Two words: Spider Pig. It was worth the wait for our favorite animated TV family to finally hit the big screen, and while Springfield was polluted in chaos, Homer and clan were there to freshen up our summer with some of the funniest gags they've ever produced. --ED
41. Breach
This suspense-filled flick chronicles the biggest security breach in U.S. History, but at it's core is a gripping buddy story between the FBI veteran (Chris Cooper) betraying this country and the ambitious neophyte (Ryan Phillipe) charged with outing him . Bros before ho-meland? Not so much. --TD
40. 300
We! Are! Sparta! Ok, so we are actually not, just huge fans of Zach Snyder graphic-novel-goes-to-big-screen hit. And now we finally understand why Gerard Butler -ites are so slavishly devoted. We take orders from the Scottish he-man anyday. --AA
Personality, I did not care for this movie. I spent the entire time having a popcorn fight with my friend.
39. Dan in Real Life
Some critics found the loving family in Steve Carell's poignant dramedy unrealistic. We feel sorry for some critics. Plot contrives aside, 'Dan' succeeds both in capturing the dynamics of a large clan and telling helluva a love story. Carell almost made us forget about 'Evan Almighty'. Almost. --KP
38. Enchanted
Patrick Dempsey really is McDreamy, even as a uptight lawyer; Amy Adams is far more appealing then Meredith Gray as Giselle, a fairy-tale princess come to life; and just to call James Marsden Prince Charming, since he oh-so-adorable as guy candy. The Disney magic has turned on its ear, and we like it. --AA
37. Grace is Gone
n a career-best performance (he should get an Oscar nod for his bull-legged walk alone), John Cusack is a flag-waving father of two whose wife is killed in Iraq. This tear-jerking drama might be misconstrued as a political statement, but finally it's a heartrending tale of human loss. --KP
36. Persepolis
Carefully constructed to mirror the bestselling graphic novel it's based on (it follows a teen girl's coming-of-age story during the Islamic Revolution), this animated film is funny, engaging and brutally honest in its portrayal of Iranian people and their quest for freedom.--ED
35. The Lookout
In accident victim with lingering memory problems (Joseph Gordon-Levitt, in a gut-wrenching performance) gets wrapped up in a bank heist gone awry in this criminally underseen film. Still wearing his beard from 'Squid and the Whale,' Jeff Daniels steals scenes as his blind roomie.--ED
34. Sicko
Michael Moore's doc about the failings of the U.S. healthcare system might be his least controversial film to date, but that doesn't make it any less incendiary. It's informative AND entertaining, and does what all great art should: It ignites discussion and leaves you wanting, um, Moore. --TD
33. Talk to Me
In a Best Actor race more crowded than a 1968 James Brown concert, Don Cheadle will almost certainly be overlooked for his gaudy portrayal of radio revolutionary Petey Greene. But it's the type of performance that turns what could've been a cookie-cutter biopic into a sure-fire crowd-pleaser. --KP
32. Lust, Caution
Set in WWII-era Shanghai, Ang Lee's 'Brokeback Mountain' follow-up is courting as much controversy as his cowboy love story did. Though it's China's submission for an Oscar, the MPAA limited its audience with an NC-17 rating. Which is a shame -- Lee's erotic thriller is a sumptuous treat. --AA
31. Hairspray
It's the perfect storm of filmmaking: a movie musical based on a Broadway musical based on a movie (John Waters' camp classic), and all three of them are terrific. Giddily exuberant and bubbling with good cheer, it's an homage to fun that even musical-haters would be hard-pressed to resist. --PC
Two words: ZAC EFRON! Worth seeing movie because of him. Plus, great song and dance scenes. Also, let's not forget John Travolta in a dress.
30. The Great Debaters
It's easy to dismiss this drama as 'Remember the Titans' gone academic, as the film undisputedly follows sports-movie conventions (there's even a training montage!). But tell us what's so wrong with finding inspiration, especially within the context of a truly astonishing American triumph. --KP
29. Zodiac
'Fight Club' director David Fincher helmed this moody flick about the real-life search for the infamous Zodiac killer. Not even Jake Gyllenhaal could solve the puzzle, but strong performances and stark, dark direction make this thriller resonate long after we've left the crime scenes.--ED
28. The Orphanage
Not quite a horror film but a superbly chilling ghost story, the Guillermo del Toro-produced 'Orphanage' is that rare movie that will make you leap out of your seat in fear one moment, then weep with sorrow the next. (But hang onto your handrest -- you'll be leaping again soon enough.)--PC
27. Superbad
It doesn't take a superfan to know that Judd Apatow was superhot in 2007. Of his films, this foul-mouthed, supremely hilarious comedy about three teens on a quest for the high school holy grail (beer, boobs and bigger ... brains) ranks lowest on our list, but really, it's like picking a favorite child.--ED
The effing funniest movie ever!
26. Rescue Dawn
Werner Herzog's sorely overlooked true-life tale about the only successful escape from a Vietnam P.O.W. camp features a bravura turn by Christian Bale, emaciating himself for his art once again. But the film's real revelation is the gutsy performance of Steve Zahn -- yep, the dude from 'Saving Silverman.' --TD
25. Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix
One of the best films in the series may have given us a "Sirius" death, but not even Voldemort can stop Harry from ruling the world. With only two films left, will Dumbledore's Army lead us out of the closet and into box office record books? We think maybe. --ED
Daniel Radcliffe is hott! And so much better then the fourth one. I just wish Dumbledore would stop PMSing in all the movies. Seriously, has the actor that plays Dumbledore ever read the books.
24. American Gangster
Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe lock horns for the first time since 'Virtuosity' -- and the results are a tad more satisfying (wink). As a vitriolic '70s drug kingpin and the flawed cop on his tail, Washington and Crowe engage in a cinematic tango that's jarring, visceral and not-so-quietly explosive. --TD
23. No End in Sight
As you can surmise from the title, this ain't exactly a sunshiney look at the Iraq War. But it's the most thorough, enlightening detailing of the mega-blunders made by the Bush Administration in planning and executing the war to date, with nary a Michael Moore stunt in sight. --KP
22. Into the Wild
Sean Penn's adaptation of Jon Krakauer's nonfiction book -- about a rich young man who abandoned all his earthly possessions to live in the Alaskan wilderness -- is laden with breathtaking vistas, themes of freedom and loneliness, and a performance by Emile Hirsch that'll break your heart. --TD
21. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Paralyzed by a stroke, editor J.D. Bauby was able to move only one eyelid. Yet Julian Schnabel's stunningly beautiful take on Bauby's memoir soars, rich with imagination and passion. It's a tour de force -- and it'll make you feel like a slob for sitting on your couch. --PC
20. Charlie Wilson's War
Audiences may have stayed away from the bulk of 2007's political-minded movies, but this remarkable, irreverent comedy will prove irresistible, given Tom Hanks' bold portrayal (he's like the LiLo of congressmen), Julia Roberts' return and Philip Seymour Hoffman's sheer brilliance in it. --KP
19. Gone Baby Gone
Elder Affleck Ben proves that it can be a very good thing when an actor wants to direct, while baby bro Casey shows that there's more than one leading man in the family. We can't understand why this mean streets of Boston-set thriller wasn't embraced by audiences, but it's a crime.--AA
18. Sweeney Todd
This is the musical Tim Burton was born to direct, and he flat-out goes for it, with a dark, twisted, gloriously gory film that'll leave you exhilarated and spent. Johnny Depp is sensational as the barber driven mad by his wife's death -- eyes ablaze and razor held high, he's never been more riveting. --PC
17. The Savages
Philip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney turn is some of the year's finest acting as quarreling siblings forced to care for their estranged, ailing father. Though they're hilariously -- and often brutally -- acerbic, these 'Savages' have one redeeming secret: Deep down, they're actually sweet.--TD
16. The King of Kong
The most fascinating, entertaining documentary of the year centers around ... videogame geeks? We dare you not to become enthralled by (and at times, enraged with) the men vying for Donkey Kong's world record in a story inhabited by characters so absurd you'll swear it's a MOCKumentary. --KP
15. Knocked Up
Writer-director Judd Apatow's '40 Year-Old Virgin' follow-up solidified his spot as the reigning king of comedy and vaulted schlubby star Seth Rogen to unlikely leading-man status. Like 'Virgin,' it's a delicious tossed salad of vulgar sex jokes and genuine heart. And yes, we said "tossed salad." --TD
This movie is great but makes me not want to have kids anytime soon.
14. The Lives of Others
This German gem about a Stasi agent who obsesses over a couple he's tasked to spy on recalls how difficult it was to live an ordinary life on the wrong side of the Berlin Wall. Expect boundaries to drop, along with plenty of tears, by the time the credits roll. --ED
13. Hot Fuzz
Simon Pegg and Nick Frost ('Shaun of the Dead') score yet again with this brilliant spoof pittting small-town cops against a serial killer. Not only is it smart and wickedly funny, but it also stands up -- thrill for thrill -- against the action flicks it so lovingly mocks. Watch your back, Bruckheimer. --PC
12. There Will Be Blood
Daniel Day-Lewis gets our award for Most Intense Actor for his, uh, intense portrayal of an opportunistic oil man in Paul Thomas Anderson's beautifully shot epic. The powerful score -- composed by Radiohead's Jonny Greenwood -- ought to get a Best Supporting Actor nod all by itself. --AA
11. Away From Her
This heartbreaking movie about Alzheimer's owes its power to two women: the astonishing Julie Christie, who bravely gives the best female performance of the year, and Sarah Polley, who in her directorial debut displays more grace and subtlety than most filmmakers twice her age. --PC
10. Walk Hard
Ever since 'Talladega Nights,' John C. Reilly has let his freak flag fly, and in the hilarious Judd Apatow joint, it's swinging proudly in the wind ... oh, wait, that wasn't his. But with Reilly embodying country-rock legend Dewey Cox (yes, we said "Cox"), you're in good hands. Go, Dewey, go. --AA
9. Eastern Promises
David Cronenberg and Viggo Mortensen are on the fast track to becoming our favorite celebrity duo, with this re-teaming (after '05's 'History of Violence'). Viggo's Russian accent is flawless (as is his performance), and if you haven't heard about the nude scene by now, you need to get out more. --AA
8. Michael Clayton
This legal thriller doesn't exactly present a novel concept: big corporation tries to cover up wrongdoing; conflicted attorney tries to take them down. What is new is how freaking engrossing this one is, thanks to a solid script from 'Bourne' scribe Tony Gilroy and a subtly stunning turn from George Clooney. --TD
7. Ratatouille
What a gamble it was: Not only is it a family flick that's hard to pronounce, but it's about a rat preparing gourmet food in a French restaurant. Leave it to the brilliant minds at Pixar to cook up the delectable classic that is 'Ratatouille.' Just make sure you wash your hands first. --ED
It's ok...kiddie movie.
6. Once
It's not only the greatest Irish musical we've seen since 'The Commitments' (fine, only Irish musical), this indie sleeper is the most romantic movie of the year, a certified cinematic aphrodisiac. Consider its insightful looks into the songwriting process as well, and this one spells "classic."--KP
5. The Bourne Ultimatum
Perhaps the best action movie since 'Die Hard,' its appeal can be summed up in two words: Matt Damon. Bourne seems like Superman -- he leaps off buildings and pulverizes foes using naught but a book -- but underneath all that, he's a flawed, vulnerable human being. And we dig that about him. --TD
4. 3:10 to Yuma
Christian Bale is fascinating to watch as a wounded Civil War vet, Russell Crowe brings a menacing sizzle to his role of career outlaw with a conscience, and Ben Foster stands out as a grimy villain in James Mangold's remake of a minor '50s classic Western. It's sharp-shooting from start to finish. --AA
3. Juno
In this quirky, angsty, beautifully written flick, Ellen Page proves it's possible for not one, not two, but three enjoyable pregnancy comedies in one year. Between Page's sarcastic musings and Michael Cera's tight gym shorts, 'Juno' provides enough sparks and shenanigans to last much longer than nine months. --ED
2. Atonement
It was a risky undertaking to tackle Ian McEwan's devastating novel, but Joe Wright rises to the challenge with this gorgeous, pitch-perfect film. Blessed with a stellar cast, swirling with desire and regret, the movie isn't just faithful to the book -- it achieves a luminous, aching power all its own. --PC
Finally......DRUM ROLE PLEASE FOR THE #1 MOVIE FOR 2007!
1. No Country for Old Men
The Coen brothers returned with a bang and a whole lotta blood, crafting this fiercely tense masterpiece that rivals 'Fargo' and 'Blood Simple' as their best work yet. The film's deeper meanings and enigmatic ending will have moviegoers talking for years to come, not unlike a certain HBO series. --KP
and now for the worse...
10. Rush Hour 3
Chris Tucker came out of retirement for this? He and partner in crime-solving Jackie Chan (who admits even he doesn't like the 'Rush Hour' movies) simply go through the motions in this featherweight action-comedy that feels like we've already seen it. Oh, that's right, we did. It was called 'Rush Hour 2.' --KP
9. Premonition
Is Sandra Bullock's hubby dead in a car accident, or downstairs getting their daughters ready for school? She can't tell -- and neither can we -- in this muddled thriller in which a scene with a priest explaining the nature of time is meant to explain it all. Sandy, America still loves you. Don't you like us too? --AA
8. Smokin' Aces
Here's a clever idea for a movie: Cast Jeremy Piven as a mob snitch, lock him away in a hotel suite, and invite an endless array of cartoonish killers to come after him, where they'll spend the next 90 minutes shooting at each other, dying, and coming back to life. Why not just make a videogame instead? --KP
Watched it a long time ago. Don't remember much.
7. Hannibal Rising
Meet the most hilarious prequel you'll ever seen (yep, it somehow tops 'Dumb and Dumberer'). Problem is, we're not supposed to be laughing at this look back at when Hannibal Lecter was a pretty boy, and how he first got a taste for human entrees. Say it ain't so, Sir Anthony. --KP
6. Because I Said So
Please, someone take control of Mandy Moore's career before we have to live through another year of not one, but two, unwatchable romantic comedies (and we use the term "comedy" lightly). We won't even mention Diane Keaton's part in this particular debacle, but she knows what she's done. --AA
5. Good Luck Chuck
Dane Cook and Jessica Alba go together like nails and ice cream, which is just one reason why 'Good Luck Chuck' failed to "score" with audiences. Besides, you know something is off when the wrong person shows up naked ... and he's hairy. Bad Chuck, bad. --ED
4. The Number 23
There are at least 23 reasons this movie failed, but here are three: the ludicrous plot (everything adds up to 23! and something about murder), the gaspingly awful "film noir within a film," and Jim Carrey, whose painful performance here makes his turn in 'Ace Ventura' seem like the stuff of Oscars.--PC
3. Daddy Day Camp
It's never a good sign when Eddie Murphy turns down a sequel to one of his own movies. Even the "dream team" of first-time director Fred Savage (yes, Kevin from 'The Wonder Years') and star Cuba Gooding, Jr. (yes, the man who thought 'Chill Factor' was a good idea) couldn't save this cinematic turd. --TD
2. Georgia Rule
It's the three-generations-of-strong-women family comedy about ... sexual abuse ... and alcoholism? OK, then. The performances are fine; it's Jane Fonda, Felicity Huffman and Lindsay Lohan, after all (regardless of her issues, the girl can act). But someone was on something when this script was approved. --AA
And the worst movie for 2007 is...
1. Norbit
Though moviegoers and critics were at odds over this raunchy comedy, there's just something about Eddie Murphy in a monstrous fatsuit AND a bikini that spells all sorts of wrong. 'Coming to America' and Murphy's other classics remain untainted, but we don't want 'Norbit' coming near our DVD library anytime soon. --ED
9 Things to Say Yes to in 2008
taken from Cosmopolitan.com
Since you're a socially sophisticated chick, you've of course mastered the art of smiling and complying with what's expected. But sometimes you'd rather get an allover body wax than go with the flow for one more second.
Well, it's 2008, and we hereby grant you permission to stop doing the things you think you should — like saying no to a little indulgence or yes to someone's time-sucking request. Instead, try these daring, yet ultimately freeing, alternatives. You'll thank us later.
1. Call out that flaky friend.
You just knew she would be late or cancel at the last minute, and sure enough, that's exactly what happened...again. When this serial offender offers up yet another lame excuse about her overdramatic life or tries to play the "free spirit" card, skip the "It's okay," which only makes you seem — and feel — like a doormat. This time, simply tell her "This is really getting old." She'll realize it isn't the first time she's left you hanging...but it had better be the last.
2. Pay a pro to tackle a chore you hate.
Buy yourself a huge feeling of relief. It's not necessarily extravagant to hire an accountant to do your taxes, an iPod-loader (yes, they exist!) to transfer all your music to MP3s, or a housekeeper to deep-clean your bachelorette pad occasionally. Uh-huh, you could do it yourself, but consider the amount of mental energy you'd save by not avoiding, dreading, and half-assing whatever banal task you loathe. As the commercial would put it: priceless.
3. Take a 10-day vacation.
It's a time-off travesty: More than a third of people who work fail to use all of their vacation days, according to research by Families and Work Institute (FWI), never mind take longer than a week at a stretch. Don't be a burnout victim — FWI found that it takes three days off work to become relaxed, and that feeling increases the longer you stay away from those flickering fluorescent lights.
Next time you plan a weeklong vacay, slip in the following Monday too. It's just one extra day, so your boss won't flinch, but it'll make your away time seem so much longer. Plus, you won't instantly erase the relaxation by fighting the nightmare Sunday night travel crunch. Double plus, that first day back won't be so bad: Only four days until the weekend.
4. Delete your entire in-box.
Set aside two hours to plow through that overflowing email folder. File what you need to (receipts, project info, links you will want later). Now jettison the rest of the e-junk. This includes stale messages from far-flung friends, recipes from Mom you'll never make because you use your oven as a shoe closet, unfunny forwards, and send-this-to-10-friends-or-you'll-die chain letters.
All this cybercrap clutters your in-box and your head, and you risk burying the notes that actually are important. "The world is moving so fast these days that anything older than three days is ancient history anyway," says Bob Kriegel, Ph.D., author of How to Succeed in Business Without Working So Damn Hard. "If it's important enough, the sender will contact you again."
5. Ask someone on a "girl date."
"A lot of women are intimidated by the idea of actively pursuing new friends," says Victoria C. Dickerson, Ph.D., author of Who Cares What You're Supposed to Do? That's because meeting people is so effortless up through college that once we get out, we aren't sure how to make those connections anymore.
But if there's a chick who seems like BFF material — or maybe even cool-friend material — go after her. We promise you won't come off as weird or desperate if you just invite her to do something you're both into, like hitting a flea market or wine tasting. Or say you want to pick her brain about her job or neighborhood. You'll automatically have things to talk about without the usual "first date" weirdness.
6. Indulge in buying one luxury item.
Have you craved the same designer watch, killer heels, or omigod handbag for years but settled for a knockoff? Here's an exciting idea: Why not save up and buy the real thing?
Splurging on quality, even if it's pure luxury, isn't a bad investment. Your crazy-nice buy will outlast a closet full of cheap copies and make you feel A-list every time you rock it. Besides, a new study in the Journal of Consumer Research found that making purchases based on a gut feeling can leave you happier for longer than buys based on purchasing only what's practical.
7. Master the art of mono-tasking.
Watch TV and don't fold laundry. Write your report and don't answer emails until you're done. Talk to your friend on the phone and don't skim a catalog. We try to be überproductive to maximize our time, but studies show that juggling several tasks makes us less efficient.
Over time, this corporate mentality can even cause short-term memory problems and difficulty concentrating. But most important for a Cosmo girl, multitasking saps the enjoyment out of simple pleasures by pulling us out of the moment. Not on our watch! Slow down, take it in, and do it right.
8. RSVP "no" to an out-of-town wedding.
You'd jet off to Siberia for your best friend's I-dos, but for that random former-dormmate's marriage vows, look at it this way: You will drop hundreds on the plane ticket, rental car, hotel room, and gift and also waste vacation time, all for the glory of nibbling stale cocktail weenies and doing the Electric Slide with a bunch of drunken strangers.
Weddings are a blur for the bride and groom, and if you're not close to them, trust us, they won't miss you. Instead, buy the lovebirds a more expensive gift from their registry. They'll be stoked, and you'll still save a bundle.
9. Refuse to say you're sorry.
Unless you've really screwed something up, flick off that it's-all-my-fault autopilot switch when it comes to your opinions, needs, and wants. Chronic apologizing — as in "I'm so sorry, what are the specials today?" or responding to "Do you need a bag with that?" with "Yeah [wince], sorry!" — blows your confidence by training you to think you've done wrong when you haven't.
To curb this "sorry" habit, pay attention to how many mea culpas you offer in a day. Then replace the self-flagellating phrase with please, excuse me... or nothing at all.
Since you're a socially sophisticated chick, you've of course mastered the art of smiling and complying with what's expected. But sometimes you'd rather get an allover body wax than go with the flow for one more second.
Well, it's 2008, and we hereby grant you permission to stop doing the things you think you should — like saying no to a little indulgence or yes to someone's time-sucking request. Instead, try these daring, yet ultimately freeing, alternatives. You'll thank us later.
1. Call out that flaky friend.
You just knew she would be late or cancel at the last minute, and sure enough, that's exactly what happened...again. When this serial offender offers up yet another lame excuse about her overdramatic life or tries to play the "free spirit" card, skip the "It's okay," which only makes you seem — and feel — like a doormat. This time, simply tell her "This is really getting old." She'll realize it isn't the first time she's left you hanging...but it had better be the last.
2. Pay a pro to tackle a chore you hate.
Buy yourself a huge feeling of relief. It's not necessarily extravagant to hire an accountant to do your taxes, an iPod-loader (yes, they exist!) to transfer all your music to MP3s, or a housekeeper to deep-clean your bachelorette pad occasionally. Uh-huh, you could do it yourself, but consider the amount of mental energy you'd save by not avoiding, dreading, and half-assing whatever banal task you loathe. As the commercial would put it: priceless.
3. Take a 10-day vacation.
It's a time-off travesty: More than a third of people who work fail to use all of their vacation days, according to research by Families and Work Institute (FWI), never mind take longer than a week at a stretch. Don't be a burnout victim — FWI found that it takes three days off work to become relaxed, and that feeling increases the longer you stay away from those flickering fluorescent lights.
Next time you plan a weeklong vacay, slip in the following Monday too. It's just one extra day, so your boss won't flinch, but it'll make your away time seem so much longer. Plus, you won't instantly erase the relaxation by fighting the nightmare Sunday night travel crunch. Double plus, that first day back won't be so bad: Only four days until the weekend.
4. Delete your entire in-box.
Set aside two hours to plow through that overflowing email folder. File what you need to (receipts, project info, links you will want later). Now jettison the rest of the e-junk. This includes stale messages from far-flung friends, recipes from Mom you'll never make because you use your oven as a shoe closet, unfunny forwards, and send-this-to-10-friends-or-you'll-die chain letters.
All this cybercrap clutters your in-box and your head, and you risk burying the notes that actually are important. "The world is moving so fast these days that anything older than three days is ancient history anyway," says Bob Kriegel, Ph.D., author of How to Succeed in Business Without Working So Damn Hard. "If it's important enough, the sender will contact you again."
5. Ask someone on a "girl date."
"A lot of women are intimidated by the idea of actively pursuing new friends," says Victoria C. Dickerson, Ph.D., author of Who Cares What You're Supposed to Do? That's because meeting people is so effortless up through college that once we get out, we aren't sure how to make those connections anymore.
But if there's a chick who seems like BFF material — or maybe even cool-friend material — go after her. We promise you won't come off as weird or desperate if you just invite her to do something you're both into, like hitting a flea market or wine tasting. Or say you want to pick her brain about her job or neighborhood. You'll automatically have things to talk about without the usual "first date" weirdness.
6. Indulge in buying one luxury item.
Have you craved the same designer watch, killer heels, or omigod handbag for years but settled for a knockoff? Here's an exciting idea: Why not save up and buy the real thing?
Splurging on quality, even if it's pure luxury, isn't a bad investment. Your crazy-nice buy will outlast a closet full of cheap copies and make you feel A-list every time you rock it. Besides, a new study in the Journal of Consumer Research found that making purchases based on a gut feeling can leave you happier for longer than buys based on purchasing only what's practical.
7. Master the art of mono-tasking.
Watch TV and don't fold laundry. Write your report and don't answer emails until you're done. Talk to your friend on the phone and don't skim a catalog. We try to be überproductive to maximize our time, but studies show that juggling several tasks makes us less efficient.
Over time, this corporate mentality can even cause short-term memory problems and difficulty concentrating. But most important for a Cosmo girl, multitasking saps the enjoyment out of simple pleasures by pulling us out of the moment. Not on our watch! Slow down, take it in, and do it right.
8. RSVP "no" to an out-of-town wedding.
You'd jet off to Siberia for your best friend's I-dos, but for that random former-dormmate's marriage vows, look at it this way: You will drop hundreds on the plane ticket, rental car, hotel room, and gift and also waste vacation time, all for the glory of nibbling stale cocktail weenies and doing the Electric Slide with a bunch of drunken strangers.
Weddings are a blur for the bride and groom, and if you're not close to them, trust us, they won't miss you. Instead, buy the lovebirds a more expensive gift from their registry. They'll be stoked, and you'll still save a bundle.
9. Refuse to say you're sorry.
Unless you've really screwed something up, flick off that it's-all-my-fault autopilot switch when it comes to your opinions, needs, and wants. Chronic apologizing — as in "I'm so sorry, what are the specials today?" or responding to "Do you need a bag with that?" with "Yeah [wince], sorry!" — blows your confidence by training you to think you've done wrong when you haven't.
To curb this "sorry" habit, pay attention to how many mea culpas you offer in a day. Then replace the self-flagellating phrase with please, excuse me... or nothing at all.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
16 Reasons boys don't suck
- For reasons science has not yet deduced, their hugs just work better.
- Yes, they show off... but it's all to impress you.
- They're not nearly as harsh with the criticizing girls' bodies as girls are on themselves and each other.
- Without them, would we have the word "gnarly"? It's doubtful.
- When they see "Boys suck" T-shirts and message board threads, it breaks their tender boy hearts.
- Have you ever watched a boy watching a girl rummage through her purse? That wide-eyed, mystified look they get?
- You can borrow their hoodies that smell like boy + dryer sheets.
- If there's some pain in the ass thing to carry or open or fix or reach, they'll do it... eagerly, even, because it gives them a chance to flex their Boyness.
- They make great bases for pyramids, chicken fights, and piggy-back rides.
- Because you know how people say "Treat me like gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe once, shame on you; treat me like gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe twice, shame on me"? You can't complain about how much all boys suck because of how one or two specific boys treated you unless you TOLD them about how wrong they were. The reason he was probably such a jackhole to you in the first place was that he got away with it with ten other girls who never set him straight -- or he's retaliating against some girl who treated him like dirt. They have brains and they learn.
- Uh, Johnny Depp?
- They believe you when you tell them how you feel, even after you hurt them by not believing them when they're upset about something.
- Holding it against them that society taught them not to discuss their feelings is just as lame as holding it against a girl if she cries at inconvenient times. If you give them a safe way to express their emotions -- a way that they know they won't get yelled at or beat up -- they usually will.
- The part where their hair ends at the nape of their neck, when it's cut short, feels like puppy dog.
- At the end of the day, alls they really want is for someone to comment on their blog. Just like you.
- Girls lie plenty, too, hon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)